On Mothers Day the internet is filled with warm wishes and special family moments capturing the love and appreciation of motherhood. However, for many people Mothers Day can be a very anxious and stressful time.
Some may be struggling with the death of mother. Others many carrying great hurt caused from an estranged relationship with a mother. There are those living with difficult family dynamics affecting how they see themselves as a mother. Mothers Days can also be a painful reminder to those desperate to conceive, that their dearest heartfelt desire has not come to fruition.
Recently I was fortunate to be involved (in a very small way) with an event hosted by Precious Wings (a registered charity committed to comforting grieving families when they have lost a baby or child, of an age and gestation). In their latest newsletter they suggest a few ways to help this day be a bit easier:
Take some time out - Mother's Day is just as important and as emotional as your child’s birth and death days - be kind to yourself. Plan a relaxing day - picnic in the park, bush walk, ice cream in bed.
You are special, you are loved -Your precious child felt nothing but love from you and gave love in return.
Do something special - Create a memorial space, garden, frame, light a candle. This is your time to recognise that precious life.
Buy a keepsake - Buy something small, wrap it and open it on Mother's Day.
Seek Out Support - Whether that support is from friends or family or from resources or support groups online, it does not matter. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It shows that you are taking responsibility for your healing and that is a beautiful strength.
For Friends and Family of Bereaved Mothers:
Write a heartfelt card
Just sit and listen and let them talk about their child
Take them out for a coffee
Give them a call
Send a gift of love
Honour their journey or child (e.g. plant a tree in their memory, donate to charity in their honour, light a candle)
Personally, I found this very helpful as in the past I have not known how to respond in a way that would show those hurting my love for them. I hope you find the Precious Wings suggestions useful also and adapt them to help someone you know is struggling find peace this Mothers Day.